What to Say to Your Child About Transgender Bathrooms

Why do some people want to be (or say they are) a different gender?

Some people don’t accept the gender God has given them because we are born sinful, and we live in a broken world. Sin makes people sad, rebellious and confused. You and I are this way too. We don’t want to follow God’s plan. Instead we want to be the boss of our own lives. But God alone deserves to be the Boss. He is the strongest, wisest and most loving. Following Him is the best decision we will ever make (Rom. 3:23; Ps. 51:5; 1 Cor. 1:25; Ps. 62:11).

How should I treat a kid in my class who says he is a girl?

You must remember that God loves that little boy very much. Jesus died to save him from his sin. One of the ways you can love and honor God is to love that boy. Treat him kindly. Do not ever make fun of him or talk about him behind his back. Instead, pray that God would teach him who God wants him to be. Always remember that just like you, he is very valuable to God (John 13:35, 3:16; Col. 4:6).

If kids ask me what I believe about this, what should I say?

Do not be afraid to tell the truth! The Bible says to speak the truth with love. You can tell your classmates that you believe God decides whether we are boys or girls, not us. Tell them that God loves us even if we are confused about our gender. Tell them He died to save us from sin and brokenness. If you get in trouble for sharing what you believe, your father and I will speak up for you. According to the law of our country, you are allowed to believe the Bible and talk about it. Never be ashamed to follow Jesus! Jesus once said that if we are ashamed of him before others, He will be ashamed of us before the Father (Eph. 4:14-15; Mark 8:38).

Should I call a boy a female name if the teacher tells me to?

The Bible says we should obey people in authority, like teachers and principals, as long as their rules do not violate God’s rules. It’s OK to call a boy a female name if that is what your teacher says to do. It is not sin to call someone a name they want to be called. A name is just a name. It doesn’t make someone male or female. But as you call this boy a new name, remember in your heart that he is still a boy and pray that God would help him realize that too (Rom. 13:1; Ps. 103:19).

What should I do if the teacher says a girl can come in the boys’ bathroom or locker room? (Or vice versa?)

Tell your teacher that you are not comfortable changing in the locker room with a girl present. Ask if you may use a private bathroom, and when you get home, your father and I will call the school to talk about it more. If the teacher does not let you use a private bathroom, politely say you will not go in the locker room, and your mother is happy to pick you up and take you home. At that point, your dad and I will handle the situation for you. Remember, you do not have to obey someone in authority if their rules violate God’s rules. God says that we are to be pure and set apart. Part of purity means boys and girls should not see each other undressed (1 Cor. 6:19-20; 1 Thess. 4:7).

A Starting Point

Always, the challenge in blogging is tackling a big subject in a small amount of space without dying the death of a thousand qualifications. That being said, obviously these answers are just a starting point. Obviously, they will launch us into deeper discussions. Obviously, our responses will vary depending on our child’s age and spiritual maturity.

My hope in this article is not to offer “quick-fix” answers to major spiritual questions. My hope is to offer a glimpse of theology applied. My hope is to challenge parents to think carefully about how we are influencing our children’s worldview. Whether we realize it or not, we always raise our kids with a specific worldview. To tell Johnny that he can believe whatever he wants to believe about God with no eternal consequences is not raising him “spiritually neutral.” It is indoctrinating him with a very particular, biased worldview.

Parents, that means we have a choice to make. We can ride the tumultuous tides of culture, or we can ground our children in the God of Light, whose teaching and character does not change like shifting shadows (James 1:17). Either way, neutrality is simply not an option. {eoa}

Reprinted from © Revive Our Hearts: True Woman. Jeanne Harrison is a student pastor’s wife and mom to three little girls. Jeanne blogs about finding contentment in the lot God has given us—be it beautiful, painful, or at times downright disgusting! Recently she published her first book, Loving My Lot: A Young Mom’s Journey to Contentment.