A good way to help children overcome the problem of anger is to teach them how to be peacemakers instead of troublemakers. Anyone can get angry and most people do. Few are mature enough to be peacemakers. Being a peacemaker helps to break down anger in one’s self and in others. Peacemakers seek to bring people together in agreement and look for solutions where everyone wins. They think of the needs of others and try to make everyone feel good. A peacemaker honors others and promotes harmony, bringing joy into the family.
So, how can you help children become peacemakers? Here are a few practical ideas. Target your parenting so that children can learn to be peacemakers. Teach children to:
• Look for things in common, not differences.
• Try to agree, not disagree.
• Work toward common solutions where everyone wins, not where one person wins and others lose.
• Use love as a motivation, not anger or meanness.
Work to give your angry child a vision for being a peacemaker. It will open up new ways of thinking about offenses and provide opportunities to deal with anger in others as well. That’s why Jesus said, “Blessed (or happy) are the peacemakers” (Matt. 5:9).
This parenting tip comes from a chapter on sibling conflict in the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.