A Wife’s First Ministry

Busy or best?

That’s what I’ve chosen to label my scales lately.

I confess that I am one of the thousands of stay-at-home mommies who tried to cancel out my guilt of “doing nothing all day” with busyness.

Somehow the fact that I was raising two boys, caring for my husband who regularly works 50-55 hours a week and still finds time to renovate our home, and completing the ever-present tasks every wife and mother has to do around the home didn’t constitute “something”.

In my head I knew that this what exactly what I should be doing. In my head I knew the value of me staying at home to raise our children. Yet my heart had somehow accepted the message of today’s society:

That women only have value when they are able to balance family, home and career. That true accomplishment lies not in the daily routine of homemaking and child-rearing, but in measurable results that come from the accomplishments outside the home.

But I have news for you.

I learned that super-mom doesn’t exist. She is an image created by the media, a phantom ideal—very much like the airbrushed model—that we are told we should live up to … and yet, no one truly can.

Oh—we can try. And in the process, we will burn ourselves out and leave our husbands and children occupying third, fourth and fifth place.

Yep—that’s where I was not so long ago.

Dear ones, that is what Titus 2 is all about.

The older women teaching the younger women that all of the careers, volunteer work … anything that keeps them from being what they are called to be—wives, mothers and homemakers—is not God’s best.

There are three areas where we allow busyness to steal God’s best from us:

1. Work at home. This is an area where delicate balance must be maintained. It isn’t wrong to work from home. In fact, for families who need a second income, it is a wonderful option. However, it is also very easy to allow our work to overtake family life. Without strict working hours, we suddenly work all of the time, and soon work becomes more important than what we are instructed to be in Titus 2.

This is particularly true for bloggers. When it comes to blogging, there is always something more: more social media, more comments, more posts, more affiliate opportunities … more, more, more. And that “more” keeps calling no matter how much we do. God’s best demands that once we’ve done what we can, we turn a deaf ear to the rest so that our families are served with the honor they deserve!

2. Volunteer work. Many stay-at-home moms choose to volunteer as a way to fill up the empty hours. This isn’t wrong. In fact, this is a very important way to reach out to the lost and support ministries and organizations that offer aid to those who are homeless, addicted or have come upon hard times.

Yet, we must be careful that the satisfaction of helping those in need doesn’t overtake the satisfaction of placing our families first.

Does this seem selfish to you? It is not. We must reject the temptation to give so much of ourselves selflessly to those in need that we no longer have enough left to properly care for our families. When we have come to the point that we have no time left to cook adequate meals, care for our homes or give quality time to our husbands and children, we are out of balance. 

3. Work for God. I can almost hear the collective gasp right now. Yes, even work for God can steal His best from us. Do you know why?

Work for God and time with God are not synonymous. And when we begin to believe they are, we are in a danger zone.

Work for God is important, and I strongly believe that moms—those who stay at home and those who work outside of the home—both can work for God and care for their homes. However, I also believe that we often feel unnecessary condemnation from the enemy to do more because we believe that by doing more, we will somehow satisfy Him more.

I have news for you:

You will not satisfy Him more by doing more. You certainly will not satisfy Him by neglecting your home to serve Him.

God will never call you to sacrifice your family for ministry. That isn’t even biblical!

Your first ministry is to your husband. Your second ministry is to your children.

If you truly want to serve your local church in some capacity, find a ministry that will allow you to do both well: ministry to your local church and ministry to your family. There is a way to balance both without allowing them to steal from one another.

Dear sisters—I truly believe that this is an important topic for us. We been brainwashed by feminist voices that lie to us, telling us that satisfaction can and should be found in anything but homemaking. The Bible tells us differently! 

“The older women likewise [teach the younger], that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5, NIV, clarification mine).

It is time we stamp out the stay-at-home mommy guilt and live the best that God has for us!

Take a moment to read this study I did on Titus 2 called, Keepers at Home:

Rosilind Jukic, a Pacific Northwest native, is a missionary living in Croatia and married to her Bosnian hero. Together they live in the country with their two active boys where she enjoys fruity candles, good coffee and a hot cup of herbal tea on a blustery fall evening. Her passion for writing led her to author her best-selling book The Missional Handbook. At A Little R & R she encourages women to find contentment in what God created them to be. You can also find her at Missional Call where she shares her passion for local and global missions. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google +, where she can be found on a regular basis.