I once listened to a training session where a coach told her client to ask God what I felt no one should ask. The minute I heard the question, my stomach lurched as though someone had just hit it. There was no way in a million years I would ask God that question. The thought of His answer scared me to death.
I had already lost 250 pounds by then. But I had just hit that mark, and I hadn’t had time to accept the fact that I was living in an entirely different body and actually following God in a way I hadn’t for years. Despite my gut reaction, God wanted me to ask Him this question because He had something important to tell me. I was still reluctant because I was afraid of what He might say to me.
Compensating for My Weakness
It felt as though I spent my entire adult life trying to compensate for my weaknesses of overeating and gaining a tremendous amount of weight. I thought I could make up for my utter failures by working harder, doing more tasks which I dubbed “kingdom work.” What I was really trying to do was work harder to be noticed by the Almighty. Yes, I admit it. I thought I could earn brownie points with God.
I knew this wasn’t how God operated, but I still felt like I had to do something. I just didn’t think I could do the one thing God wanted from me: lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. Because I didn’t think I could do that, I’d try to approach things from a different angle.
Cognitively, I knew I couldn’t earn God’s favor. I knew that His grace saved me and that it is always freely given no matter what I’ve done or not done. However, there was still a part of me that needed to ask: “Have I done enough to be called your daughter, God?”
I Have To Know His Answer
When I heard the question, I panicked. I was certain whatever God’s response might be, it wouldn’t be good. Even though I knew my sins had been removed as far as the east is from the west, just as Psalm 103:12 says, I still believed they were a part of me. It was really hard to understand that God considered my sins gone. And yet on another level, this one question was gnawing at me, and I had to know His answer.
The message I was listening to was supposed to help me understand who I really am to God. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped the recording. I felt like I would die if I didn’t take the plunge and ask God what felt like a huge question. I wanted to know … but I didn’t want to know. You know that feeling, like you’re standing on the edge of the rest of your life, and this one step will define everything?
When I finally asked Him the question, His answer to me changed everything in my life. I share this specific question, how God answered it and how you can do the same on Episode 70 of Sweet Grace for Your Journey Podcast: The Big Question. Check it out on Charisma Podcast Network. {eoa}
This article originally appeared on teresashieldsparker.com.
Teresa Shields Parker is the author of six books and two study guides, including her No. 1 bestseller, Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds. Her sixth book, Sweet Surrender: Breaking Strongholds, is live on Amazon. She blogs at teresashieldsparker.com. She is also a Christian weight loss coach (check out her coaching group at Overcomers Academy) and speaker. Don’t miss her podcast, Sweet Grace for Your Journey, available on CPN.
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