We live in a world defined by negativity. So much of the conversation surrounding politics, education, social challenges and even religion seems to be about “What I’m against!” to the extent that we too easily forget exactly what it is that we value.
It’s the same thing much of the time with marriage. Gripe, complain, nag, whine…. really? Give it a break already! One great exercise in proactive relationship building is the commitment to focus on the positive.
Try the “I promise to say nothing negative to my wife for one entire day” pledge. Better still, try it for one week. Be a servant leader as you model active love.
Along the same lines, go a step further and move beyond merely avoiding the negative and actually be deliberate about the compliments. We think it’s such a good idea we’ve picked ten of our favorite to suggest:
1. “I love talking with you; you’re interesting and funny.” Communication is a key component of a marriage that works. Lose conversation and you lose one-another. Check out this All Pro Dad resource on 10 Ways to Improve Marital Communication.
2. “Today was another one of those days that made me so glad I asked you to marry me.” You enjoy your life together. Make sure she knows it for a fact. Make sure she knows you’d ask her again in a heartbeat.
3. “Your life tells the truth about love.” This is a quote about love for the ages. Some people can be loving, or positive, or generous, or kind. But the way your wife is goes beyond that. If you really “get” your wife, tell her how she is. Tell her every way you know how.
4. “The kind of mom you are makes it so much easier to be the kind of a dad I need to be.” This parenting thing is all about teamwork. Self-doubt is ever present. Be the encourager. Let her know she inspires you. Here are 6 A’s of Good Parenting.
5. “Sometimes you are so beautiful that I just want to stand still and look at you.” Go ahead. Make her day. Then do it – look at her like that…
6. “Thank you for being such a hard worker.” Simply acknowledging she works just as hard, if not harder, than you do will go a long way to encourage her. Just because some in this world will not give her credit for all the labor of love necessary to be a wife and mother does not mean it’s anything other than vitally important.
7. “Thanks for loving me the way you do; you make me want to be a better man.” Okay, so we borrowed this one from Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie, “As Good As It Gets”. But it’s more than a great line – this compliment lets her know she’s inspirational as well as hot.
8. “You’re the reason this place is called ‘home’ rather than just a house.” Your wife puts her heart into the heart of your home. Recognize that. Let her know you appreciate her love and her skill.
9. “Thanks for being my best friend.” Most men own a feeling of real emptiness outside a loving marriage relationship. Tell your wife that you understand what’s going on and that you value her gift of friendship to your life.
10. “Thanks for your honesty.” Many men look at their wives as nags when they’re honest. And that is true at times for some women. But for many husbands, your wife’s honesty is gift and a chance to grow. When your best friend who loves you is open enough to be honest, it’s an opportunity for you to fix something. And that is invaluable.
All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.
Joseph Mattera 
BJ Foster 
Shelby Bowen 
