In April, we are bringing awareness to childhood sexual abuse. On a recent episode of One Voice on the Charisma Podcast Network, Keitha Scalf shares her story of childhood sexual abuse, drug abuse and how God delivered her miraculously!
Keitha lives in Coleman, Alabama. She has been married for 9 years and has a daughter who is 7. Here is her story:
“My abuse happened in two phases. One afternoon, my stepdad told me that he had a sex addiction problem and was attracted to me. I chose to tell my best friend who told her mom. In turn, her mother told my mom. Within a matter of hours, it felt as if the world had blown up. At the end of the day, I was deemed the one who misunderstood. My stepdad was safe to keep living there. Within my heart, I knew I had been made the sacrifice and was thrown to wolves. As things would progress, I had no need to speak out.
He encouraged me to use drugs. I was arrested at 13 for possession, which led to me being home at his convenience. Being raped, molested, fondled and made to look like the problem child was a daily occurrence. Shame, guilt, anger and self-hatred were my closest emotions.
I absorbed the lie that I would be the only one to truly look out for me and able to save me. I believed that men where only directed by their sex drive. I became promiscuous, experimenting with drugs, maintaining a high-functioning life that kept people from asking too many questions. I inflicted harm upon myself, became a homosexual and had an abortion right after graduating high school. I was reckless and unstoppable. I wanted to push every boundary I could, even if it cost me my life.
My abuse and self-hatred led to very extensive drug use, until one night someone invited me to church, and I ended up giving my heart to Jesus through a prophetic word. As I wept, the pastor laid her hand on my head and said, “The things from your childhood hurt you.” No one in the room knew what had happened. It had been eight years of feeling worthless and invisible, yet the God of the universe knew my deepest pain. Equally, I encountered prophecy and knowing that God wants to speak to His people.
I began to learn about God but secretly continued using drugs. My boss one day told me, “You’re more than what you are right now.” That sentence changed my life. I knew that I could be loved by people. Learning the power that Jesus sees me as the finished work in Christ was beautiful.
Learning to love and be loved has been the messiest yet most wonderful process of my life. It took 20 years for me to come to the most complete version of myself. I learned to live out of abiding in Christ instead of striving for my own perfection and redemption through my behavior. I rely on the truth of the blood of Jesus more than ever before. He is my advocate.
My life before Christ feels like a dream—as if it happened to someone else. I am complete within the Lord. There’s no one else who could heal a soul like this other than my Creator.
Joy, peace and righteous belong to the lovers of God. It’s part of our kingdom inheritance.
Phil. 3:13b (AMP): “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead” has been my proclamation.
I am not who the devil intended for me to be. I am who God says I am!
I am quite a dreamer when I wonder what the fullness of Christ will experience with a bride that is whole and satisfied in Him.
For the rest of her incredible testimony, listen to One Voice on the Charisma Podcast Network. {eoa}
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