Let’s stop the
hypnotism, the guilt manipulation and the high-pressure gimmicks. It’s time to
reclaim our lost credibility.
Normally I’d
rather go to the dentist for a root canal than watch a telethon. But while
channel surfing a few nights ago I tuned into PBS and discovered that Aretha
Franklin, the legendary Queen of Soul, was hosting a fundraiser for the
network. Seated at a piano, she was offering a 5-CD collection of classic
rhythm and blues hits in exchange for a donation to public television.
It was simple.
There were no gimmicks, no games and no strings attached in Aretha’s offer. If
you gave the suggested gift, she explained, PBS would mail you a big slice of
American pop culture—including songs by Gladys Knight and the Pips, Smokey
Robinson, the Four Tops, Al Green and Aretha herself, singing her classic
“Respect.”
| “I still don’t know what is more outrageous: That programmers allow such insanity on Christian television, or that gullible Christians fall for it year after year.” |
My respect for
PBS was still intact when the telethon ended, thanks to this low-key,
no-pressure approach to fundraising. I can’t say that for some Christian
networks, which have shamelessly extorted money from viewers over the years
using heavy-handed guilt manipulation, hypnotic control and bizarre
Scripture-twisting.
During the PBS
telethon I wondered why Christian networks couldn’t simply offer music, books
or other premiums instead of resorting to the typical arm-twisting and
tear-jerking that we’ve come to expect. We need an overhaul in this area.
Somebody needs to lead the way in pioneering a new style of on-air fundraising
that doesn’t treat people like brainless zombies.
Here are five of
my least favorite fundraising tactics. I wish all of them could be banned from
the airwaves.
Gimmick #1: The magic Bible verse. You
know the drill. The evangelist quotes Psalm 37:37 and then announces that if
you will send $37.37 (“No more, no less!”) God will unleash all the blessings
of King David upon you. (Hint: The phones seem to ring more frequently when the
number seven is included in the Bible reference.)
Gimmick #2:
The urgent, time-is-running-out plea. Before the preacher asks you to reach for your wallet, dramatic
music is piped in. Then “Reverend Cheatem” talks about how the crippled man
waited by the pool of Bethesda, hoping that the angel would trouble the waters so
he could be healed. “God is troubling the waters right now, my dear friend,”
the preacher says with his eyes closed. “Go to the phones now, before it is too
late. Only those who give in this holy, anointed moment will receive a
supernatural blessing in return.”
Gimmick #3:
The memorialized gift.
One popular evangelist announced on-air that she needed thousands of dollars to
build a prayer room. She promised that those who funded this noble effort would
receive recognition with special brass nameplates that would be mounted on the
wall of the facility. The implication was that people could buy prayer
coverage, sort of like a spiritual insurance policy. (I’m not surprised—since
this woman offered her loyal followers the status of “spiritual son” or “spiritual daughter” if they paid a $1,000
annual fee.)
Gimmick #4: The
debt-breaking anointing.
One preacher who specializes in telethons has raised millions by telling
audiences that they are just one donation away from eliminating all red ink.
All they have to do is give a sacrificial gift (usually four figures) to the TV
network in the next few minutes. If they do this, God will wipe out their
debts, no questions asked. No lifestyle changes necessary. (This technique was
especially popular before the mortgage crisis.)
Gimmick #5:
The Day of Atonement offering. This particularly odd strategy has been popular in the last
couple of years, especially among gullible Christians who believe God blesses
anything and everything that has the word “Israel” attached to it. The preacher
announces that if you write a check to their network, and wave it in the air
before you mail it (preferably while wearing a Jewish prayer shawl), God will
forgive your sins, restore your health, bring back your wayward children,
provide angelic protection and bless you with more than a dozen other special
favors.
I still don’t
know what is more outrageous: That programmers allow such insanity on Christian
television, or that gullible Christians fall for it year after year. Hopefully,
emerging leaders in the religious broadcasting industry will restore our lost
credibility by insisting on integrity, authenticity and good taste.
J. Lee Grady is contributing editor of Charisma and author of the new book The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale. Follow him on
Twitter at
leegrady.
