Resolve to Get a Better Marriage in 2015

*Jenifer and I have been planning for months to start blogging together in order to give both male and female perspectives of common issues that families face. We will even tackle some difficult “conflicts” in the future. We’ve been through 25 years of marriage and family life, and we want to use our experience to provide help for the masses. Anyway, this is our first stab at a “he said/she said” blog. We hope it gets you thinking.

What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?

Typical New Year’s resolutions are about diet, fitness and general self-improvement stuff. While those things are worth looking into, we want to invite you to consider making a specific resolution that centers around getting a better marriage than the one you have now.

If your spouse has ever disappointed you (and what spouse hasn’t?), you have likely been tempted to dump him or her and find a new one. We invite you to consider a better option: Put the energy required to get a new spouse (the diet, fitness and self-improvement stuff mentioned earlier), and instead improve the marriage you currently have. We have provided some suggestions below—ideas for guys from Barrett and ideas for the ladies from Jenifer. In the spirit of getting a “different and better” marriage, we made our suggestions deliberately provocative. We hope a few of these make your list of resolutions for 2015.

Resolve to Get a Better Marriage

Resolution #1 for Husbands: Start a New Romance

Barrett: You know all those romantic things you did back in the day to “woo” your wife? Those things that you aren’t doing much of any more? You need to commit to doing them again. Because she expects them.

I know that Jenifer does. She has every reason to believe that the volume of attention and affection I poured on her to make her fall in love with me will continue until the day I die. Romantic love is the air that most women breathe, so you need to figure out that what that means to your spouse.

Even in the area of sex, you need to redouble your efforts to be a creative and generous lover. Most women are interested in sex, but they need to be romanced, and they need to feel safe. And they need to be pursued. So focus on the girl and resolve to become a hopeless romantic once again.